The Dirty Bouquet

    2006.  Previously, I was introduced to the idea of Pandora's Box via an experience I had with someone from high-school.  That time it was music.  I was a slight music aficionado due to my older sister's boyfriend. He had opened up our world to music from the east coast.  A total split from what we were raised listening to in a household ran by a devout Christian.  Imagine my siblings and I in Houston knocking our rides with the Wu-Tang clan and the likes in the 90's.  Oddballs.  But this experience with music through that person, my old high-school friend, introduced me to the classics. Black classics.  The soundtrack of my life from 2001-2006 had been Minnie Riperton, Jeffrey Osbourne, The Commodores (Zoom is my favorite) and more.  And also a soundtrack that led me to the actual box.  To me music and history are undeniably intertwined and when I opened this box.  I was taken back to the foundation of it all through w...

 True story...and I should have typed "Vodou" instead.  Anyway, more on this later in an upcoming blog. 

  I don’t stay bottom   Spirit gave me instructions today > Blue, orange  for the monarch butterfly and the bug seen this am during a morning smk sesh in my backyard.   Both floated near by, in rhythm. First the monarch and then the unknown bug.    What struck me the most was how blue that damn bug was.    I watched it intensely to make sure it wouldn’t attack. Lol.   Both however… not staying bottom.  They floated...flew. Something I've been wishing i could do lately. Spirit spoke and hinted at “intuition” . Why? What do I mean?   I've been consulting ChatGPT lately because my soul has been disturbed after searching for information/confirmation my brain just can't seem to let go of surrounding someone. I found it.  I was led by intuition.  The info hurt and swelled in me like raging fire. It had to be revealed I guess. It caused tears, confusion...resentment towards the one true “essence”, Elohim . And then, as the bl...

  I'm learning that what appears to be two equal sides can in fact be an illusion.  Congruency is a fallacy?  The "agreement" is...one-sided? Yes.  So, this is my achilles heel.  I enter into situations that I believe to be genuine and usually end up in defeat.  They say there is a lesson in one's mistakes and I do agree but that typically leads to self-isolation for me. I never realize just how naive I am until it occurs.  It occurred recently with several people, strangers, loved ones and I've been isolating now for a year plus.  And while I do miss these people deeply, besides the awareness here's what else I've learned and what I'm most proud of... My "detach" game? Oh, it's elite. But, I hate playing it. I really adore the thought of getting to know, trust, indulge, and love.  Yet all of these things as I'm learning are actually weaknesses? On what planet can one actually align and truly trust that they are valued/seen?